jeering at the shadows.. sneering behind a smile

so, depeche mode was awesome. they know how to put on a show. dave sounded great, you wouldnt have known he was sick at all. the rain held off, they played for the perfect amount of time, played fly on the windscreen, in your room, enjoy the silence, ended with personal jesus. they played a lot from the new album and i love the new album so that was nice. in other rebekah's top 5 bands in the world news...

ECHO & THE BUNNYMEN. ARE. PLAYING. THE. MASQUERADE.

the only time i have seen them was at coachella, faaaar faaaaaaar away, in a hot field. it was amazing even so. so i am ecstatic that they are coming to my city to play at a smallish venue. they are so consistently good.

Well, Peter Murphy was amazing yet again. There was no opening band, and i cant decide if that's a good thing or not. i was going to try to watch out for capitalization but nevermind i've already fucked it up. so normally when someone i want to see is playing, they have an opening band that i don't care to see. but i have to get there early to get a good spot and so i end up watching the entire set of a band that i have no interest in. sometimes it is ok, like the most recent sisters of mercy show, the band that opened sounded like interpol and so even though i didnt know any of their songs it was still enjoyable. but normally its just blah blah blah hurry up. so last night i got there at 8, which is what the ticket said, and got a spot up front and then stood there for 2 hours and 42 minutes ( yes i checked the time when they started-10:42), while listening to the masquerade's choice (?) of music that they deemed appropriate to play at a peter murphy show. depeche mode, the smiths, skinny puppy, the cure, etc. there was an awkward moment when a dead can dance song (rakim?) started playing, and the majority of the crowd started yelling and clapping (someone yelled yeah peter! woo!). i was embarrassed for atlanta for that moment. rakim is not a song on the dust album. anyway of course standing there staring at an empty stage for so long was totally worth it when he appeared. he was wearing black skinny jeans with a black shirt and a black leather(?) jacket with purple feathers on the collar and black italian looking shoes, with several large glittering rings on each hand. he took off the jacket after the first song and i have to say, i absolutely adore his style. the other guys in his band just dont fit, in my opinion. the hot topic looking chunky shoes, multiple piercings with huge silver things in them, cris angel hair and soul patch, oh im just not into that look at all. anyway im sure they are nice people, bless their hearts. at one point they covered roxy music..which blew my mind. they also covered that nine inch nails song hurt. they played cuts you up and time has nothing to do with it and some others.. he came over and stood right in front of me at one point and looked into my eyes and i felt like a christian looking directly into the eyes of jesus. its an amazing feeling. it really is a religious experience.

i guess i always have to make an appearance here when i find out peter murphy is coming to town. he is a touring maniac!! fortunately for us!! im sooo excited.
april was a very, very, very full month. looking for a new place to live was extremely stressful. finding it was elating. actually moving was an all day work out. we started at 7am and wrapped up around 5, then rushed around trying to get ready for my friend's wedding when everything i owned was in boxes stacked everywhere. it took me a good 30 minutes to find my blowdryer. i turned 26 on the 30th. we celebrated robert smith's birthday on the 21st. we saw flight of the conchords and neko case and we went to my salon's reopening party etc etc.. i told my parents that lee and i moved in together and got the expected 'you'll pay on judgment day, you have no morals, it wont work out' speech. i cant express with words the joy that i have knowing that i dont have to dread coming home and sleeping in 10 minute increments because my room mates are so fucking loud and obnoxious. molko is a new cat now that she is not bothered by other peoples cats in her space. i have a bathtub for the first time in 5 years. going to ikea and getting new cups and dish towels and pans and rugs for our own house was so nice. its like a fog of stress was just blown off of me.

1. What did you do in 2008 that you’d never done before?
Saw the Cure in Boston:)

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I dont remember what my resolution was for 08. I havent made one for 09 because i know i will forget it.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

nope. 2 girls at work got knocked up though.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
no

5. What countries did you visit?

:( none

6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?
a place with lee instead of girls

7. What dates from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
new years eve/day bc it was amazing

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

maybe learning how to paint? or..reading 3 500something page books in 6 days

9. What was your biggest failure?
not getting a new job

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

illness but not injury

11. What was the best thing you bought?

my grey jacket

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

Lee's. who else would put up with my overreactions?

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

my roommates'. i am the only person in the house who knows how to buy stamps, do the dishes, and not leave stray hairs all over the walls in the shower. in their defense though i never take out the trash or pick up molko's hairballs.

14. Where did most of your money go?
food/gas/bills

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

seeing the cure. going out of state, anywhere. going to the mountains. doing it.

16. What song will always remind you of 2008?

band of horses, all songs

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
 a) happier or sadder? 
b) thinner or fatter? 
c) richer or poorer?
A)Happier
B)neither
C)poorer

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?

drawing/painting, learning

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

worrying.

20. How did you spend Christmas?

i spent christmas day at my aunts house and then at lee's parents house. we played cranium.

21. Did you fall in love in 2008?
moreso if possible!


22. What was your favorite TV program?

true blood

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

naw

24. What was the best book you read?
eclipse:)

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?
i didnt make any discoveries i just listen to what lee gives me, and my old favorites

26. What did you want and get?

the most awesome vintage necklace that i've ever seen for one! also a gps. a winter jacket.

27. What did you want and not get?

sigh

28. What was your favorite film of this year?

milk

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

on my actual birthday i think we just went out to dinner w my family and then went to manuels

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

if i got a tattooing apprenticeship

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?

vaguely fashion conscious toned down goth

32. What kept you sane?
feeling absolutely secure.

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

kim kardashian, when her mouth is shut

34. What political issue stirred you the most?

the presidential election

35. Who did you miss?

aaron, ben harvey, clay, shaunna, christy, britany

36. Who was the best new person you met?

nayoon. what a find! she's amazing

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008.

you cant drink thc tea when you have a possible drug test in 3 weeks

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
Spinning round and round with you
Watching shadows melt the light

I do believe that my tax fraud claim is finally taken care of now! after 8 months of hounding the irs. i got my affidavit in the mail over the weekend and today i went to wachovia to get it notorized. i wait in the line and tell the lady i need a notary so she goes and gets her stamp and starts to sign it and then asks if i am a wachovia customer. i say.. no this is just the closest bank, and it says to take it to a bank or library to get it notarized. so the lady goes 'ooh im sorry. i can't help you if you dont have an account here.' so she tells me i can go next door to the ups store and get it there. so i walk over there and wait in the line. the man does it with no issue. i go to my car and drive out to w peachtree st where the irs office is supposed to be. of course i cant find it, because i have no sense of direction. i drive around w peachtree for about 15 minutes before i finally see it. i park in a lot and the attendant tells me that its $7 and i dont have any cash. fortunately he is really busy, and tells me that he isnt supposed to let me, but i can pay when i come back. so i go inside, and the magnetic lipliner applicator in my purse sets off the metal detector. they go through my purse and find it and let me go. i go up to the line where it says 'wait here until you are called' and i wait there. there's no one in front of me. the lady is busy doing something. then a man walks up and stands beside me, and she looks at him and says 'can i help you'.. completely ignoring me. the man indicates that i am next, and she just looks at me with a 'what the hell do you want' face. so i go up and hand her the affidavit and she says 'what is this? we dont take these here'. and i explained to her that the person on the phone told me to bring it there. so she gives me a number and tells me to sit down and hands me this yellow sheet:

i wait there for over an hour doodling on the paper. then my number is called and i go to a desk which is occupied by a middle aged woman with an enormous hair piece and a very wary expression. there is a sign behind her with a picture of garfield with the caption "Why not come to work? I'm already in a bad mood anyway." the first thing she says to me is "We usually recycle those" whilst glancing over at the yellow sheet. i apologize and hand her my affidavit and explain why i am there. she looks at it suspiciously and then types on her computer and tells me that i need to do all this other stuff. then i tell her that i have done all that stuff already. she makes a copy of it, types more stuff, and tells me that i should have my refund within 7-8 weeks and she's sorry for the inconvenience. im gone. i find an atm and get out $20 for my parking. i head over there and some guy is standing with the attendant, and he says 'woooo look at your hair! you are pretty! oh my god and your eyes! give her that money back i am paying for it' and so the dude gave me my money and i was like awesome thanks. then i drove through traffic and finally made it home. the moral of the story is: be fucking careful with your personal shit!!!! it is such a hassle to have your id stolen!! its ridiculous!

painting #2
for a girl at work, its her kid, i gave up on trying to make the kid look real out of boredom and frustration. she loved it anyway so i dont feel bad.

speaking of work, i havent updated since that last entry. so they decided they arent going to cut our hours, and instead they are going to have us working 4 ten hour shifts per week. so i will be off sunday, monday, and tuesday, and then work forever for the other 4 days. i think i might like it. its only for 3 months anyway.
i finally got my affidavit in the mail for my tax fraud shit. now all i have to do is fill it out, get it witnessed and take it to the irs. then in 7-8 months i will finally get my tax refund. (hopefully). if they steal my refund again this year i will quite likely go to the address (which i do have!!! and no one cares!!! thanks police!!) and jab out their eyeballs.
so when i was searching for that picture to post i found a bunch of pictures of when i had bangs before. this was 4 years ago:
aw. its funny, i want to pat the 21 year old me on the head and give her a hug.
so christmas was awesome. i went to my parents house and we went to the candlelight communion service. we sat in a pew with a family of 4 tiny kids behind us, and an ancient couple who reeked of smoke in front of us. its funny to think, when you are a kid you dont give a fuck if you are being loud. when you are really old you dont give a fuck if you choke the people around you with your rank scent. its only the people in the mid range that give a fuck about anything. im sure thats a very broad generalization.
anyway then we went home and i spent the night there, and the next day we went to my aunts house who lives in columbus. their family has a bunch of babies. there is also this 6 year old girl who is my cousins daughter. i met her when she was like 3 so she didnt remember me at all. my dad was teasing her about how he was going to take her to this bridge where a troll lives and throw her under. and she raised her little eyebrow and said "NO, i will throw YOU under" and i laughed a little, then she snapped around and looked at me and said "and YOU TOO!" which is the first thing she ever said to me.
then after staying there for 14 or so hours they drove me to Lee's parents house, where we had a meeting of the parents. it lasted about 10 minutes and then my parents went home. we came home friday and unwound..yesterday went to a party where i discovered that i am not a good sideline watcher while rock band is happening. usually i am ok to be at the sideline, its a nice comfortable out of the way place. but it pains me to watch people on no fail mode on easy with the bass blinking at the bottom of the meter. i have to sit on my hands in order to restrain myself from snatching it, swinging it at their heads, and telling them to sit down and watch. gaahhh. anyway. then i came home and read until 2:45. this is long. i havent been censoring either. sorry.

ok i decided to go to michaels and get some oil paint and try to learn how to do that too. so here's what i have so far, i had no idea it took so freaking long.

at one point i was shaking my liquid eyeliner and the cap came off and sprayed all over the left side of it, but it turned out to be a good thing because when i started it i had no idea what it was going to be, i just decided to see if i could paint a face. so then out of the eyeliner came the trees. so i have found that i enjoy painting, and that linseed oil and turpentine have childproof caps that are almost impossible to open. so i have an idea for the next one to do gregor as a bug in the almost empty room from the metamorphosis bc lee suggested i do scenes from books. so maybe that and maybe dorian gray in a chair next to a portrait of a haggard old man. other than that im not sure but i am sure that just those two will take five years to do because its so time consuming and i have such a short attention span.
so, life. my salon is about to start renovating in january. which means they will be closing 3 days a week and opening later, which means my hours are gonna be cut in half. so i need a new job really bad. my room mate situation is finally sort of stable, with a few small issues every now and then, such as one of them deciding to post our address on couchsurfing.com and have random guys stay with us without telling me whats going on. all the while the bathroom that the other girl and i share was spewing god knows what from the drain in the shower so we and the random dude were all sharing the one girl's shower. but now he is gone and the drain is fixed and i have a promise from the girl that she will take us off the site. so im debating going to see sisters of mercy tomorrow. its $30. do i have $30 for a show? eeehhhh. i know i will regret it if i miss it. but still. its not like i've never seen them before.

alright, well i decided im going to be a tattoo artist. i asked my favorite artist in the world what i should do to get on that path and he gave me some suggestions for stuff i should start drawing. im posting my progress here!
this is obviously my favorite style:

but i also have to draw tattoo classics like this:


which obviously isnt spot on yet, but im still practicing. then i also am practicing dragons:

and i think im going to do some wildlife next. portraits are my favorite and the most challenging. i wish i had a good art teacher! are any of you people art teachers?
saturday night lee and i went to meghans housewarming party! it was fun and i drank too much and dont even know who took this, and was surprised to see it in my camera:

meghan was super cute in this dress:

sunday lee and i went to the zoo because residents of fulton county got in free all weekend. we walked from my house and it was hot. we got blisters. but it was awesome. so many interesting animals! so weird that they live in my neighborhood. seriously i have tigers and pandas .9 miles from my house.

We're back! and now im procrastinating because i dont want to unpack. oooh god, i dont want to unpack. We headed up around 2 on saturday, got a little lost due to faulty gps, found the place, picked up the key, and then drove up a really scary mountain on a gravel road.
We had no idea that the drive was going to be so scary and we still had to go back to the town to get groceries. so my poor little vw was freaking out but we made it back to an ingles, where we stocked up for the weekend. our cabin was soo nice! in the living room the fireplace had a face in it:

and one of the bathrooms had a garden tub, so we bought bubble bath, which was calgon, and had a woman on the box who looked really cheesy. (Lee: i'm not buying this. Rebekah: ok give it to me.) in the morning we made pancakes and drank tea and watched some olympics. we went up to the porch on the top of the cabin (3 stories up) and played scrabble and drank mimosas. it was sooo quiet out there. we grilled out later and spent the entire day relaxing and being lazy. on our way back we decided to visit historic downtown blue ridge, and went to some antique stores, which i am all about, and i picked up some things including this little box: there were several other little boxes that i wanted but managed to not buy. i dont know why i have such an obsession with little boxes. here is a picture of lee talking to an elderly resident:
lees photos are of course way better and are here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/thisisawakeupcall/

the end!

all i ever do on mondays is take naked pictures of myself all day.

Peter Murphy is fucking incredible! i went to his show at center stage last night. got there early and stood in the very front. he is just an absolutely commanding presence. the whole show was like watching the rapture happen. in the middle of the show he stopped and said 'ok time for 40 questions, who has a question?' and he literally took like 6 or 8 minutes and just talked to us and answered questions. i cant remember all the questions now but someone asked if he was wearing underwear. hah. he leaned down and gave the mic to a girl in front of me to allow her to ask a question and he was within a foot of my face!!!! some guy who got the mic just said 'i saw you 20 years ago' and he goes.. thanks. i'm fucking 53! and everyone laughed. and he was like.. its hard being this marvelous at 53! some of the song highlights for me were: marlene dietrich's favorite poem, i'll fall with your knife, she's in parties, and when he sang a couple lines of bowie's 'be my wife' *tear. yes. aahhhh maaaa ziiiiing!!!!!!! i felt like i was going to swoon like people at a revival!

im hoping it will be cathartic to type this all out.
first of all, my best friend wasted 6 months of her life with a guy who wouldnt know loyalty or faithfulness if it stared him in the face. good riddance to you, jackass.
second, we didnt get mail at our house for a week because the post office mistook my old room mate chloe's forwarding order for the whole house moving out.
third, when i got home from work yesterday i was welcomed by the sounds of my other roommate throwing up repeatedly. she dabbles in naughty things such as pot, and heroin. so i wasnt really surprised. but after 6 times, and her friend coming over, i go in there and she's lying on the floor with ghost white face and blue lips. and she is just whimpering and asking for excedrin. so i went to cvs and brought her some and she could barely swallow it. she said she gotten up to a bag a day of heroin and then decided to not do it for two days. so she was in withdrawal. so i called lee to come over and we and two of her friends went to the ER with her,and she was there until 6 am. her parents came and got her today and took her to florida to a rehabilitation center. i have no idea when or if she will be back, and she moved all her stuff into the computer room area of the house so i could get someone else to move in.
fourth, i filed my tax return in april. i havent received anything back yet, so i called today. when i called, the woman at the irs informed me that someone had filed taxes under my name and social in february, and they had claimed 5000 dollars back. they also had my state tax refund and stimulus check directly deposited into their account. however the 5000 refund was somehow sketchy, so it is being investigated. now that i have called with my real information, they said to give them 30 days to resolve the issue and 'hopefully' i'll at least be able to get my federal tax return. so i will never see my state tax return or stimulus check money. goodbye 987 dollars. i had also previously received a call from dell, the computer company asking me if it was really me who opened an account with them, since i had been a victim of identity fraud. i got the affidavit today that i have to fill out and have a notary sign??? wtf. identity theft is SOOOOO ANNOYING!!!!!!!! it is serious shit.
soo yeah i have to idea what to tell the girl that just agreed to move in to take chloe's place. " sorry uh we have to find a new roommate..like, yesterday, because robyn wont be paying any bills from rehab" i dont even know her last name yet.
SSSSSSSSSTTTTTREEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSS OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUTTTTTTTTTT!!!

At work today as the three of us girls were standing up front bored to tears, jessy suggested that we play a game, where we write a story. it starts with one person writing three words, and then the next writes the next three words, and so on. Here is how it turned out:

Once there was a girl named Jeopardy. She was actually a man. She has a really large apparatus made of cheese and it smells as good as baked octopus jaws. One day she was taking her big, hard, exploding, amazing, and beautiful piece of cheese out of its teeny weeny box. The cheese looked like a penis. What a small bend in misfortune. She rubbed it and it fell back into the deep black chasm. She jumped into the chasm after she ate lunch. She threw up because she thought someone poisoned her. In fact she had seen the evil Doctor Hector who ate her mother's potato chip flavored vagina yesterday. Finally she reached the end of her cheesy rope that wrapped around her ginormous piece of coconut pie made of some coconut and jellybean flavored sperminated ovaries. She used the bathroom 5 times because her bladder got an infection in Portugal Friday. The guy who trained jellyfish to masturbate without thumbs got into her human shrinking machine and was suffocated. When she got into the cockpit and sucked out some juice from Herbert, the cheese, she was able to cure the disease that evil Doctor Hector spread like butter all over her throbbing hot wet juicy great vajayjay. When the disease disappeared she decided to live happily ever after.

THE END!

I cant believe i made it through work today!
Lee and i went to boston this weekend.. we woke up sunday at 4 something to news anchors telling us not to leave our houses because of tornadoes. we left anyway and got stuck on the exit ramp to the airport behind a wreck. we sat there for ten minutes or more watching the firemen wade through the street which was buried underneath half a foot of water. we made our flight with 3 minutes to spare. we stayed at the onyx hotel

which is awesome! and the people are super nice and helpful. we decided to explore the city and walked all over, stopping to have breakfast at american joes, where lee called his mother to say happy mothers day,
and the birds there are really friendly. they are so small and cute! they walk right up to you and eat crumbs like two inches from your face!! they are seriously so tiny, like palm sized. anyway. we found ourselves walking into this surreal festival at the park area, where there were a million babies dressed up like ducks. apparently its an annual thing for mothers day. the park was sooo beautiful, the trees, the flowers, the lake, the statues!

later on we walked around the italian district where there are rows upon rows of italian restaurants. we chose one at random. we also found a garden outside a church with statues all in it, i took a photo of this golden one because it was the creepiest:

we then walked to the infamous mike's bakery, which was so full that you could barely move. we walked back the hotel and and tried to eat the cannolis that we got but we discovered to our dismay that neither of us likes them. we should have just gotten one, HAHAHA
after sleeping the most wonderful sleep in forever, we woke up and were greeted by being slapped in the face with the coldest blustery wind that i can remember since january. we rode the green line to the museum of fine arts. they had SO MUCH ART. it is AMAZING. i wish i could live inside it. i took a picture of the creepiest thing they had, once again:

we had lunch/dinner at the otherside and then rode the train back to the hotel, where we got ready to go see the cure. i made lee buy a black shirt at h & m. yeah thats right.
65 days of static opened and they are one of those bands that doesnt have any singing so i thought they were really boring. then the cure opened with Plainsong. THE BEST OPENING SONG. EVER.!!!! i had tears in my eyes. it was so perfect. then they played prayers for rain! the tears continued. then they played atl.end which was ehh. then a night like this, which was cool. then end of the world, ehh. and it continued as such.. awesome song, ehh song. etc. they only played one song from pornography, 100 years. i took video of several songs, here is The Blood:

we barely made the train to get back to our hotel. it was so freaking packed. there was a group of girls talking about the show that almost got punched. by me. they were so stupid, they shouldnt be allowed to listen to the cure. one of them actually said, "I never thought i'd see "close to me" live!" close to me. really? moron! then this guy barreled on to the train after it was too full. he fell on top of lee and then proceeded to sit on the floor directly on top of my left foot for the entire duration of the ride.
we took a three hour nap and then woke up to catch our flight back, arrived in atlanta with a very smooth flight, and then we both went to work. oooooh... and this:

lee and i got home from asheville a few hours ago. we went to see stars of the lid. we woke up monday morning, had breakfast at ria's, and then drove straight up to the biltmore house.

it was absolutely breathtaking. the amount of detail put into everything there is just incredible. we then drove to the albemarle inn, a bed and breakfast that we found online that triple A recommended.

the lady that greeted us was really nice. we had a room called 'vanity fair'


we left and went to eat mexican food since it was cinco de mayo. we had the most delicious avacado/cilantro/something else salsa ever invented. and then we went back to the albemarle and we sat out on the lovely porch in the absolutely perfect weather

and took a thousand photos of each other

the other people at the inn hated us. then we went and met farbod, vanessa, and farzad and their purple friend at their hotel and walked to the show at the fine arts theater. i slept through a great deal of it. everyone else was entranced. then the next morning we woke up early to get to experience the inn's breakfast. we were the first ones downstairs, and lounged around with coffee on fancy platters. then they brought us some delicious ambrosia, consisting of grapefruit and strawberries in a honey sauce. then they brought out the most horrifying thing that they could have ever dreamed up for me and lee. a french toast stuffed with a cream cheese filling, covered and slathered in orange sauce. I hate french toast, and i HATE orange flavored anything. Lee hates eggs and creme cheese. together we forged through two bites and then moved it all around on our plates to try to make it look like we had made an effort. we were both nauseated until hours later. so on that note we left the inn, and got a doughnut on the way back to wash away the lingering taste of the french toast from hell. then we passed by a highway sign for 'Bat Cave' and we pulled off the road to find it. after a long winding drive through various mountains we found that there was no actual bat cave, but that it was just the name of the town. we left extremely disappointed. it was an amazing trip though, soo much fun and soo needed. and then sunday was shaunna's wedding which we almost didnt make it in time for due to mapquest predicting a much shorter time to the venue than it actually was. i realize that that sentence is a grammatic nightmare. shaunna walked down the aisle to jeff buckley looking like a silvery goddess. and then before that was my birthday, which was also super nice. next saturday is my and lee's 1 year anniversary wooo. and we are going to boston to see the cure at the boston arena. how awesome is that! im so excited. ok. i have surely made a big entry here havent i. i also took this picture of lee at the mexican restaurant. model!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ROBERT SMITH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I need two roommates June 1 for a six month lease. 317 a month. if anybody knows anybody let me know pleeeeeaaaaaaaaaseee!!

i just got an email from ticketmaster about all the upcoming shows in atlanta. and.
PETER MURPHY!!!!!!!!!!!!1
is coming in july!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! tickets go onsale tomorrow. i seriously almost cried tears of joy. i had no idea he was touring this summer. the cure in june!! peter murphy in july!! my life is amazing!!!!!!
also rancid is coming june 22.